Feelings - Part 4

 We are at the end of our series on feelings.  If you remember nothing else, please remember that  ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD.  It is what we do with them that makes them good or bad.

Are you feeling frustrated or depressed? Things or life in general not going as you want or had envisioned or even planned?  Are you smoking and want to quit?  Are you drinking and you want to quit or drink less?  How about eating more that you should?       Are you using chemicals and they are wrecking your life? ...

You know by now all of these different problems have something in common.  They are all part of the "too much" distractor cycle and are all a direct result of not responding to feelings in a way that takes care of the problem that was causing the feeling.  Drinking, overeating smoking, excessive snac, chemical use/abuse are only temporary ways to cope with a feeling by distracting self away from the feeling.  But, because a cause of the feeling had not been satisfied, or taken care of, it returns again and again.  And this my dear friends can ultimately lead to frustration and depression.

Here is a simple three step approach, as simplistic as it may seem, that I use to help my clients address feelings:
1.  Name the feeling you have desire for compulsive behavior (drugging, smoking, drinking, ...).  Remember the primary feelings are: anger, boredom, stress, guilt, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness, and fear.  We did not discuss frustration or depression and will not due to the shear depth and breadth of the subject.
2.    Identify the cause of the feeling by thinking about what might be causing it.   Only then can you begin to do something to address the feeling.  Your behavior can't do anything about the cause of the feeling or emotion!
3.    The obvious next step is satisfy the feeling.  Take action that goes directly to the cause of the feeling and eliminates or reduces the cause.  I actually tell clients who visit me to have a list of actions "tucked away" somewhere for when their feelings begin to appear.  It is best to have a list already prepared and ready to go because the last thing anybody will want do when they are bad, sad or whatever is to put together a list.  

The following are examples only (it is best to construct your own 3 step plan using your own actions not one prepared from a blog on your computer screen):
      1. Feeling:  Lonely 
      2. Cause: Experiencing a good healthy desire for human companionship.
     3. Action: Ways to be around others that either you care about or are interested in    things you care about:
               a. Call someone,
               b. Get on the computer and join the world of the internet (my last choice),
               c. Get a job (if you work and have time, get another one),
               d. Join a club,
               e. Take dance lessons,
               f.  Volunteer doing something meaningful to you,
               g. Take a class where you don't get a grade,
               h. Go to church,
               i. Visit the Humane Society or volunteer,
               j.  Walk around your neighborhood and visit with your neighbors,
               k. Become active politically,
               l.  Go to the library. 

      1. Feeling:  Angry 
      2. Cause: Something is going on that is unfair to you or someone you care about.
      3. Action: Ways to reduce your feelings of anger:
               a. Check - was it really unfair? If it was fair, that changes your perspective.
                    - Give yourself some cool down time and reassess; it might be fair,
                    - Get other's perspective,
                    - Listen to the other side,
                    - Step back and look at the big picture,
                    - Were you just in a bad mood, tired or oversensitive
                    - Sometimes, it is just the way it is, and it's equally unfair.
               b. Make fair - whenever possible, attempt to regain fairness in the situation. 
                    - Let people know that it seems unfair to you,
                    - Talk to someone in charge and tell them about the situation,
                    - Stand up for yourself in a fair and caring way,
                    - Join a group that stands up for rights,
                    - Join with other like minded people and get support in your efforts.
               c. Forgive them and move on - real forgiveness reduces anger.
                    - Remember forgiveness is NOT forgetting what happened,
                    - Forgiveness doesn't mean that you like the person or what they did,
                    - Forgiveness has a more positive effect on you than it does on them,
                    - Try to understand why they did the unfair thing. This makes forgiving easier, 
                    - Realize that most of the time, they wish they could do better,
                    - Forgiveness gives back your mental and emotional energy for other things,
                    - Forgiveness gives you peace of mind when all other things fail.

Sometimes satisfying our feelings have to be delayed for a short period of time.  In these instances of delayed gratification, you will need a short list of distracters (as opposed to distractors).  A distracter should be something that you enjoy that is not immoral, illegal, fattening, or a health hazard.  The items on this list allow us to delay our need for instant gratification.  they should be used only temporarily, until the feeling can be fully addressed.  Short list items include:
     1. Call a friend.
     2. Love your pet.
     3. Get a new hobby.
     4. Learn to meditate, ascend or pray.
     5. Take a class.
     6. Rent an old movie.
     7. Write a poem.
     8. Draw a portrait of a friend.
     9. Write a letter (old school).
     10. Take an art class.
     11. Get out the family album.
     12.  Try a new kind of tea and invite someone over.
     13. Close your eyes and create a special room in your mind, relax there sometimes.
     14. Go to the library and visit a section you usually do not visit.
     15. Go all day without television or the news.  Watch cartoons instead.
     16. ...Now make your own list with 50 distracter items.

When addressed, ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD, it is definitely what you do with them that is either good or bad.  This edition concludes the series on feelings and emotions. 

I hope you enjoyed the 4 part series.  I am considering constructing an entry on what specifically can I as a hypnotist help you to achieve, to grow, or to eliminate.  I am also getting some questions on personal email to talk about Past Life Regression (PLR) and/or Age Regression (AR).  There is so much that can to be addressed regarding to what we at Lakes Region Hypnosis Center and at Peaceful Light Healing do by way of healing the body-mind-spirit.  Until next time, remember to:

​BREATHE -
                     RELAX -
                                     HEAL