FEELINGS - PART 1

I'm going to start a multi-part series on feelings, maybe between 2 and 4 postings.  Multiple posts are required in order to explain how feelings sometimes aide in creating instabilities that can lead to unwanted behaviors and habits, even to many self-defeating behaviors including addictions!  This series will, in no way, attempt to replace any kind of therapy that you may be encountering or seeking at the moment.  Rather, it is written in layman terms as to how our own feelings and the potential lack of identifying them and to acknowledge their existence that are the underlying source of addictions and unwanted behaviors.  Today we will identify feelings.  Next week we will point out how we are automated to either ignore our feelings (put them on the back burner so to speak), or at the very least we're programmed into believing that these certain feelings are "bad". 

Let me go on record right now that a feeling is never "BAD"!  We experience anger, guilt, loneliness, boredom, sadness and so on because our being has a need to address a situation.  And, if we ignore that feeling by not taking appropriate action(s), the problem that feeling is presenting to us WILL lead to frustration then tertiary depression.  All the while opening us up to the "too much" activities of distraction, like too much food, alcohol, smoking, drug abuse, shopping, sexing, and so on; but this will be explained later.  Allow me to interject an opinion at this point that I hope will stick with you, the reader.  Far too many professionals and some hypnotists bring their clients to the discovery of the feeling that led to the "too much"/addiction and leave it up to the client to work out the problem internally for themselves. 

NEWS FLASH: if the client was capable of working out the problem themselves, why did they need to spend countless hours in an office "talking" and revealing Lord knows what irrelevant or embarrassing information to a stranger?  This point is why (wait for it...plug coming) 5-PATH(R) certified hypnotists are considered the cream of the crop, top of the heap, the 1 percenters of their industry.  These skilled hypnotists assist in taking the client to the feeling and then assist them in addressing that emotion in a manner to rid the client of the distraction (addictive) behavior, even if there is secondary gain motivation to maintain the behavior.  We are adept, skilled professionals in the art of Age Regression and if needed Parts Mediation.  End plug, lol.

THE FEELINGS

The first tier of feelings offered are BOREDOM, ANGER GUILT, SADNESS, LONELINESS, INADEQUACY, STRESS, and FEAR.  The higher tier contains FRUSTRATION and DEPRESSION.  Remember, there are no bad feelings.  Feelings are our mind's - body's way of pointing out that there is a situation that needs to be addressed in our life.
  Emotional Pain                 Need, Want, Desire 
      1. Boredom              To grow through challenge
      2. Anger                   To experience fairness for self and others
      3. Guilt                     To be fair to others
      4. Sadness                To keep valued things and people
      5. Loneliness            To have meaningful relationships
      6. Inadequacy          To feel good enough/adequate
      7.  Stress                   To have success in managing one's life
      8.  Fear                      To feel safe
      9.  Frustration          To meet needs through own efforts
     10.  Depression          To be effective and hopeful
​In addition to these 10 feelings there is the feeling of SYMPATHY.  This feeling can cause a person to feel bad because another person is hurting.  It is simple, but it may not be easy.
The key to taking back control  of one's power over how they feel is a 3 step process.
     Step 1:   Identifying or naming the feeling,
     Step 2:  Identifying the cause of the feeling (unfilled need, want, or desire),
     Step 3:  Identify a satisfying response - an action that fulfills the need want or desire.

In FEELINGS - PART 2​ maybe we can look into why little things hurt and the dangerous cycle of not addressing (or burying) feelings by distractions, which leads to addict behavior.

Let me end today's post with this message from renowned hypnotherapist and author,  Cal Banyan, in his book The Secret Language of Feelings.  "When we ignore our feelings, our basic needs are unmet.  Our lives become filled with frustration and stress and eventually depression".  My reading clients who come to Lakes Region Hypnosis Center to experience hypnosis are offered a copy of this book at a reduced, bulk rate.